Attention All Mom: if you have a son from the ages of (6 to 12).. Just randomly ask him..."If 30 ninjas broke in here right now what would you do??" Trust me it will make his day...
So I read that Uber is going to start using self-driving cars to drive people around... Which is a great idea.. But I'm just thinking, if a car drives up to my house to take me somewhere with nobody in it.. I'm pretty sure I just got myself a new car...
Am I the only one that believes people without kids should get a "No-Child Tax Credit"... I mean I'm over here not overpopulating the world.. Think I deserve a lil something back for that... Yall Welcome!
Not sure why my bill collector keep trippin and askin for their money...I mean as long as I owe yall money you will alwayz have a job...Hell you should be callin to thank me cuz I'm your job security....
I wonder if Titanic would have been as romantic if Jack would have said, "Hey Rose how bout we let me get on the headboard for just a couple of minutes"....
Ladies just cuz he locks his phone when he leaves the room doesn't mean hes cheatin...Now if he locks his phone...then takes the battery out...then moves the bookshelf which leads to an vault that he puts his phone in...Then ok maybe hes cheating
My landlord just called and said my neighbors just complained about all the loud freaky sex they are hearing from my house... So now I'm on my way to buy some headphones for my laptop...
Men lie about how many women they have been with because they CAN'T remember the exact number...Women lie about how many men they have been with because they CAN remember the exact number....
these kids today are lucky they have the soft plastic jungle-gyms with straw padding the ground..Instead of those broken down wooden death traps we had too play on as kids with that soft cement to break your fall...
I think its unfair that men and women are not treated equally...It just seems wrong that women can show a lil boobie and get out of a speeding ticket but when I show a lil ball I get arrested...It just aint right